When I was first coached one of the key aspects my coach kept me revisiting was a reality check.
For me this was a reality check of the kind “You’re picturing this worse than it really is, you’re undervaluing yourself…”
Radio “I’m not good enough” was the term used to remind me.
At the time I was clearly going through some difficult changes as the reality was very different to the confidence or rather lack of confidence with which I was carrying myself forward.
It was a deeply personal struggle which few of my friends and colleagues were aware of.
It’s great to be out of there.
There are many people out there enduring the sort of pain such doubt brings about, and previous or even current success is no source of immunity.
So where and how do you get out, what can you do?
There is no panacea, though here are proven ways to progress, explore these and others to get a fit with you:
- Share with your closest friends/colleagues – you may be suprised to hear they have been there to
- Seek out inspirational people and realise the only difference is they are ‘doing’ and you are ‘holding back’
- Keep great company (ditch those who drain your spirit)
- Break the pattern; take up a new sport, go running, get out, meet old friends
- Explain – don’t complain, don’t be a broken record, be a record of positive change
- Set new goals and commitments – share these with your partner or colleagues
- Get a great coach (I know some!)
- Seek out a psychotherapist/psychologist – ignore the old social stigma’s about seeing a ‘shrink’ – some of my best friends are psych’s!!
- Stay above the line
Remember What you resist resists
Fighting it is no solution, finding and forging a way forward is.
(Reality check Part 2 , will deal with the opposite problem – when you are overly confident of your strengths.)